I cut grass for the entire summer of 1997. I cut grass, marked white lines, watered cricket squares and painted pavilions all summer long just so I could buy a new PC. By early the following year I was the proud owner of a sparkling PII 400Mhz beast. My friend Chris helped me spec out all the component parts – I wanted the best of everything. The latest Pentium processor, a pair of enormous 6Gb IBM discs (which were good at the time), and 128Mb of RAM that I didn’t imagine I could ever use. I think my folks thought I was mad spending so much money on a computer, but they humored me all the same.

Once it was assembled, Chris and I tried to get Windows NT 4 Server (fairly new at the time) installed, but had to give up because my graphics card was just too damn new and swanky for its pathetic little arse. This meant I got lumbered with Windows 98 instead, so you can’t win them all.

Over the years I upgraded bits and bobs. Added a network card when other computers sprouted up around me (they tend to do that), added more RAM, a CD writer, new fans. Every change was an upgrade – nothing ever failed. No alarms, no surprises. It still sits below my desk, quietly churning away doing its thing. When my parents ask, I always take joy in telling them that it’s still running and performing essential every-day tasks. It’s the most reliable computer I’ve ever known. Up until a couple of months ago it was our domain controller and main IIS web server, still slogging at it, nose to the grindstone. Its modern replacement is at least five times more powerful and cost about 4 times less.

So, freed from its duties as a Windows server, I thought I’d give the old chap a makeover. I’d add an additional, larger disc (12Gb doesn’t go far these days) and reinstall him with Debian for use as a PHP development server. But I can’t.

Fearful for such an old mainboard not being able to support bigger disc sizes, I bought a small (by today’s standards) 40Gb IDE disc on sale. Carefully installed it (including 5.25inch conversion brackets) and powered him up. ‘Detecting secondary master’ … nothing. No luck. IDE was different in yesterday’s money. Looks like you can’t get new discs for old boys. My computer, in his old age, just disgraced himself in public and lost control of his bladder for the first time. He has to accept the inevitable. He’s getting old. Things were different in his day, and what with these newfangled operating systems and all. I guess I’ll just have to let him grow old gracefully.